J left his clothes and dvd here.. muahah

I think J is trying to teach me a lesson. We spent my weekend the best way I could ever spend my weekend: we basically snuggled and ate homemade cheesecake and watched Sex and the City (he likes it even more than I do; I've never really gotten into it but I have a feeling its every girl's dream that their boy would actually bring over a SATC dvd and play it, of his own accord) and talked about psychology for two nights and two days nonstop. We only left the house to grab some food at an English pub and shiver and clutch each other at the beach.

Last night J called me when I got back from work. I had tentative golfing plans. I had had a good day at work, but somehow I was in an agressive / angry mood. It had started out as agressive and driven, but easily channeled into anger when people grated against it. It probably spurned from the leftover adrenaline rush of trying to make a record number of chats per hour the whole day. It probably also was caused by a bad sleep the night before. J called and said 'How do I get three teenage girls to go away?' All I could hear was screaming in the background, and incessant chatter. He kept leaving to talk to them, and half the time I'd answer and realize he wasn't talking to me. At the end I lost it: 'HOLY FUCKING ANNOYING!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!' I bellowed. He had invited me ice skating but I told him to call me after.

So then I went power shopping. I plowed through the racks like a bulldozer and kept a general glare on my face. Even when I'm mad though, I couldn't bring myself to not smile at salespeople, and I couldn't bring myself to not hang up the clothes neatly on the hangers after trying them. I honestly make quite a nice mad person. J called me while I was buying some white Guess jeans. 'Wanna hang?' he asked. 'Well,' I said, 'sure.. but it's up to you. I know you need your space.'

'I need my space?'
'Yeah, like you said last night.'
'Uh.. I don't remember saying that.'
'Yeah, you did. You said you still want time to hang out with your friends and stuff.'
'Whatever! How come everyone's crazy tonight? I'm just going to go home and take a nap and hope that when I wake up everyone will be normal again.'

He didn't call tonight, which is typical, because I know that he gets too proud to call back for a long time, sometimes. He'll probably call tomorrow. I snicker a bit, and I don't know why. Perhaps because I can predict things now. I'm not even afraid of 'crashing and burning' anymore. I even forgot that catch phrase until he brought it up during a discussion about moving in together. I can't understand how I like him more than ever before, and yet I'm much less afraid of it not working out, than before. I know he has the tendency to jump up and run off at the drop of a hat, and I know I'd be very sad if he did, but I'm not scared of it anymore. He wants to find an apartment downtown together. And get a dog. I think I'd be game. It seems like when we're together we never fight. It's when we're apart that we do.

I went powershopping again today. This time I made some kills. I am sick of wearing cheap clothes that fall apart my whole life. I am the queen of thrift. I like thrift stores too, but I'm sick of the 'used' look, and sick of buying stuff I only half-like just because its on sale. So now I'm trying to buy only high-quality stuff that I like a lot, and that will last a long time. I got this circle & square bracelet from Blue Ruby. $85. My heart jumped and I felt a bit guilty buying it but also proud of throwing caution to the wind and being a consumer whore. I also got a really really really soft comfy aquamarine Lululemon sweatshirt. It is so soft, it doesn't feel like you're touching it, yet the warmest sweatshirt I ever wore, and YET it's still fitted, not baggy. Wow.

I've put off buying Lulu stuff for so long because I don't want to be a trend whore, but I'm definitely going back to get one of those stretchy tracksuits to live in at work. Whoohoo!

Before that I went to La Senza, and my friend Darcy and her friend happened to be working there. It was both of their last nights. So Darcy told me to buy whatever, and she'd use her 25% discount on me. I bought a black bra and 3 pairs of black REALLY COMFY undies. Nylon/spandex. Need comfort when sitting in wedgie-prone positions all day at work.

So that does it for today. Next on the list is sneakers (Puma or Adidas), the tracksuit, and a plain white baseball cap for days like today, when I sleep 45 min past my alarm and run to work without a shower. : Possibly a watch, though I get along ok using my cellphone as a watch for now. Larger hoop earrings. Yes, I did mention to some friends the other day that the size of girls' hoop earrings must be inversely proportionate to the size of their brain.. I guess mine is shrinking from the rote tasks at work.

Speaking of work, this is what I like best about it. That I can come home and totally forget it. It doesn't bug me, and the stresses during the day, while pertinent and stressful at the time, don't bug me when I get home. Work always followed me home and put me in a foul mood when I was waitressing. Right now, all I can think about is how I made this one person's day by telling them what a great artist they were after looking at some paintings they were selling. And the free pizza we got today, and the free KFC we get tomorrow. And how I was second place in the 'greatest improvements in customer satisfaction ratings' this week

Anyway, time to gloat a bit more over tonight's killings (clothes) and go to sleep in theoretically 10 minutes.