i really really dont wanna go to j's surprise 29.5 bday party tonight. he was mean to me on the phone. and he said he'd call about tonight but hasn't ....but he doesn't know it's his party. this is the weirdest situation ever. i don't know if he even wants to see me there.. but it would be such a sell out not to go, especially to his friend arranging it..

god, this is like the nicest thing i'll ever do for someone.. ugh.. i don't even know any of his friends going. can u say awkward? they are all swingers too.

wish me luck.

*cry*