His email from last night

This is when he finally contacted me Monday night (last night), a day after his birthday dinner. The mystery of the birthday dinner is finally revealed here, and I finally became aware of what was going on that night:

Before I say anything else I obviously owe you an apology for last night. I amsorry.Now in regards to us and this e-mail and the events of last week..............Ithink I feel even worse. Well not so much worse but sad that you and I are sodifferent. I like you I really do. We have fun together and it feels always niceto be with you. Except for something we both have mentioned before. My emotions.When you went me this I was not overly sure what to feel or say. I knew thoughtthat I felt very off when you had not much to offer when I was there last.Jocelle I do not think you and I can ever be much more then we are. These twocool cats who hang out and snuggle. While this is healthy and fun I need andwant to be with someone who can make sense of my feelings and respond to themquickly. I know you do not mean to make me feel this way but when you delayanswering me on important things I feel like I am left hanging. Worse I feeleven regected. Again I know you do not mean it.I wanted to tell you all of this in person but I know written format seems tosuit you better :( and that alone is a reason why we frustrate each other so. Ithink what I am saying is I am retracting abit from any happy picture I may havetried to paint with you. In my desperate search to not be alone and replace whatI lost I try to heighten anything I can. I think I did this with you. I tooksome good times and comfort and started to try to build a future instead ofleting things develope naturally. Again I am sorry.Now as far as moving............We found a great heritage house to rent. Well the upstairs anyways. It is reallycool and a GREAT deal. The problem is it is 2 bedrooms. Now one of the rooms issomewhat devided and oddly shaped. It definately could house the two of us. Iwill gladly share it with you if you still want to move in with us. I just thinkit should be made clear that we would be what we are just in a more daily formatas roomies who snuggle. This may be weird and asking too much. I leave it up toyou. The rent would be split with me and make it about $225.00 each. Wich isreally cheap. It is in New West near downtown. 10 minute walk to sky train kindof thing.Now you absolutely have to know this aswell. The woman who sat beside me (Lisa)and I met and really hit it off. I mean REALLY hit it off. SHe is very excitableand in the moment and full of life. Basically she is a helluva lot like mecommunication wise. I am taking things or trying to very slow with her but manwe get along awesome. I want to get to know her more and explore this conection.It is horrible timing I know. I did not know that I was having a surprise partylast night or I would have called you ahead of time to try to prepare you for anuncomfortable situation. I am sorry for that again. I wanted to talk to you buthad no time to try to explain or even had anything to explain as all of thishappened so fast. I just feel a weird and wonderfull draw to her Joel like bigerthan life aproach. I do not want to miss a thing she says.I feel like such a jerk about this. I do not know what else to say. It is notlike we are breaking up or anything but I just want to be fair with you. SOdigest all of this in your Joceele timetable and I guess we can talk when youhave sorted out how you feel. Sorry ahead of time if you get gurt from this. Ifeel bad allready :(Joel