Friday, October 22, 2004

We wrote stories.

A friend wrote me a story on msn last night. And so I wrote him one back. They both impressed me much more than I would have imagined. Here they are:

Ryan’s Story

Once upon a time there was a little girl who lived with her parents in a small cottage near the edge of a dark wood. She had very few friends for she lived in such a solitary area, but she was quite close with her grandmother, who lived alone in a small shack deeper into the woods.

She often went to visit her grandmother, though her parents warned her that she should not venture alone into the dark woods. She would tease them and say that animals were more scared of her than she of them, but they would ominously warn her that there was worse than animals lurking in the dark.

Still, the girl was young and impulsive, and thought herself quite brave and safe. One afternoon she filled a basket with bread and honey, donned her favorite red hooded cloak, and went off down the nettle-strewn path into the shadows.
It was a short ways into the woods, with the canopy blocking out the dimming light, when she heard a rustling in the underbrush off to the side of the path.

"Shoo, silly creature! I am not afraid of you, and you should be of me!" She said playfully, but with a hint of nerve in her voice.
She was quite surprised when out of the shadows stepped no beast, but instead a young man.

She had never seen him before, either in the village or the woods. He was quite the sight to see, for he was dressed in nothing but a pair of ragged trousers. His body was broad and sinewy, his skin tanned from sun and work. He was covered in what she thought a preposterous amount of hair, far more than her father.

His chin was coast with the stubble of a beard and his hair shaggy, but his face was made all the more surprising from the broad grin upon it. "And why," He asked quite jovially in a deep, booming voice, "Should I fear you, Little Red Hood?"

Little Red was quite surprised, but she soon found her tongue. Though her cheeks burned as red as her cloak, she spoke back with insolence. "For I am the Queen of these woods, and you are trespassing on my lands!"

The hairy man regarded her for a moment, before releasing a booming laugh that shook the eves above. "You must forgive me, madame, for I had not known these woods were ruled, let alone by such a beautiful young girl. Had I known, I would have made effort to gain an audience before treading on your lands."

The girl struggled to hold her composure, though shocked and embarassed by the hairy man's eloquent speech. She lifter her nose in the air in an effort to seem regal. "Well, I should punish you for the affront." The man, seeming quite amused by the play, dropped to one knee in supplication and splayed out his arms. "O' Queen of These Woods, please, have pity on a poor traveller. What might I do to gain your mercy?"

The girl smiled quite smugly at this, for she rather liked having the powerful brute kneeling before her. "You... You shall accompany me to my grandmother's house. As my envoy, and my protector. You shall pledge your life to me."

The man raised his head and looked at her, and she found the play was gone from his eyes. "I do." He said, with an earnestness that surprised and confused her. She felt her cheeks beginning to burn again, so she stomped her foot and began off down the path. "Come now, you've made me late enough!"

The man stood and brushed the fallen leaves from his knees, then hurried to fall into step. As they walked he spoke knowledgably of the forest, of the trees and animals and the ways of nature. He was polite and genial, and treated her with respect. She did not know what to make of this strange man, but she found herself listening to him enraptured, and giggling girlishly at his jokes.

Before long they were at the grandmother's house, naught but a tiny cottage of timber and thatch in a dark grove. The door was open, as it often was at dusk to let in the cooling air. The girl moved to rush forward in excitement, but she felt the firm hand of the man on her shoulder. She looked up to see his expression, firm and wary. His nostrils flared as he sniffed at the air.

"What is wrong?" She demanded with agitation. She felt afraid of his strong hand digging into her shoulder. When he spoke, it was little but a growl made words. "You must not go in." He said. The girl felt a sudden pang of fear, looking up at the man. He looked quite frightening as the shadows of evening crept in. "I wish to see my grandmother!" She demanded, and wrenched herself free, leaving the man holding only her red cloak.

She ran for the cottage, shouting for her grandmother. She was just about through the door when a shadow leapt forth from within, and directly at her. She was knocked to the ground in a flurry of filthy fur, animal musk and ravenous growls. She found herself pinned beneath a growling black wolf. The wolf held her down and looked at her with beady yellow eyes, slobber stringing down from its jaws. She wished to cry, but could not, for its weight was crushing her. She surely saw her own death in the glistening ivory of its fangs.

The girl closed her eyes, unable to watch her own death coming. But when she expected the pain of jaws digging into the soft flesh of her neck, she instead heard a yelp and felt the weight disappear from above her.

When she opened her eyes, she saw the wild man had thrown the wolf off with his own body. He was locked in a terrible combat with the beast, attacking it with his bare hands.

The wolf clawed and bit, rending the wild man's exposed flesh with it's savage attacks. But the girl was shocked to see the man fought with an equal fury, landing blows with his powerful fists, even biting the wolf with his own teeth.

The girl knew he would surely die, for no man could best a wolf in unarmed combat. She knew she should get to safety while she still could, but she was unable to move, mesmerized by this battle to the death in the tall grass of her grandmother's grove.

The match seemed quite finished, with the wolf holding her sworn protector by the collar, when the first rays of silver moonlight pierced the light night clouds. They lent an eery glow to the grove, but more notably as they touched the wild man, they seemed to pierce his being, absorb into his very soul.

The girl watched in amazement as his body began to change, his muscles twisting and his bones rending. He released an agonized cry, not from the bite of the wolf but from the contortions of his own form. His hair grew thicker, his mouth transformed into a muzzle. When all was done, he stood as a silver wolf, even larger than his ebony opponent. The wolves growled at each other for a brief moment before attacking again, with renewed fury.

The bout was purely feral now, tooth versus tooth, claw to claw. But it was clear from the first moment who was destined the victor... Within but moments, the silver wolf had bested its yellow-eyed shadow, and the beast lay dead in the dark grass. As the moon-tinted wolf slinked back towards her, she feared she would be rent as well. But it stopped before her, and from its blood-wet lips, the gravelly voice of the man spoke.

"Little Red Hood, I have come from far lands to claim these woods as my own. It was my destiny this eve to battle the black death, and to take his mantle as ruler of this forest. I had not known that I would win, but I had thought that would be my only challenge. I had not expected to take a queen as well."

The girl swallowed hard as she looked into the glowing eyes of the powerful beast before her. Though the voice was still firm and even, she could hear the savage tone of the woods in it. She knew that her options were few, but that her grandmother had fallen to a wolf this eve, and she would not suffer the same.

Hiding her shaking knees, the girl drew herself up and addressed the wolf in what she could manage of her regal tone. "Champion, you are welcome in my woods, and I would be happy to have you rule at my side. I welcome you to your new kingdom." And with that she knelt down and placed a kiss on the wolf's muzzle.

With that she led the wolf into the cottage to consummate the new royalty of the woods, and the girl could not help but smile knowing that henceforth, there would truly be none in the woods who did not fear her.

THE END


Shi’s Story

Jacinder and her mother had just arrived in Canada. Olive green couches and shag carpet were in, and Trudeau was on his way out. Jacinder had every intention of fulfilling her father's dreams of higher education and marriage to a worthy young man of the Brahma caste. She licked her lips as she arrived at Vancouver International Airport, and breathed in the thick salty and damp air.

The clouds were low that day as the couple flagged down a taxi, and bribed it to drive them to their new home in Vancouver. To Jacinder's surprise, the cab driver stared dumfoundedly at the money waved in their hands, and spoke to them in their language about paying after. Jacinder let her mother, a seasoned traveler, do the talking, and she quietly slipped into the backseat while her mother knitted and purled verbally with the mustard seed yellow-turbaned cab driver about the Emergency back home.

Jacinder zoned out and let herself gaze out the window at the husky-voiced seagulls and mist that swirled like the lackadaisical American jazz that she had heard on the plane on the way there. Bits of conversation swirled in her mind... 'Sikh....' .....'guru'.....'injustice..' Her good posture sagged into the comfy, over-padded back seat which emitted the faint smell of sweat and cigarette that is especially potent when the chance of precipitation is high. Suddenly, Jacinder felt the muscles in her back twitch. She knew she had taken her seizure medication before the plane ride... but had she forgotten to take it with all the excitement during?

No sooner had she stopped to think about this, her back flinched again. In horror, Jacinder froze, as she realized this was not the onset of a seizure, but a hand, reaching between the seats, from within...what she imagined would have to be the trunk of the cab. Paralysis overtook her previously relaxed body as five nails scraped through her sari, madly tearing at her flesh.

Jacinder gazed in the rearview mirror and saw the cabbie's furious eyes, as he debated a fine point in Indian politics with her mother, who was equally engaged. She sucked in her breath sharply. She would not panic. She jerked her body forward and with the precision of a young Arabian mare, whipped her delicate head around to rest her gaze on what were three brown, calloused, gnarled fingers, and two stubs.

Boldness and curiosity coupled with jetlag overtook her fear, and with two hands, Jacinder pried apart both rear seat cushions, to get a better view of the trunk. As she did, a vortex of ice-cold wind rushed through her ears, drowning out all conversation, and all her thoughts. She could see the wind, a thicker, denser type of air, thicker than the Vancouver fog. The crippled fingers gestured, the seat-hole widened, and the wind grabbed her and sucked her into the back of the trunk.

In the back of the trunk, Jacinder sat. Strangely enough, she was not the least bit afraid. Perhaps she was still on the plane, dreaming. Perhaps she hadn't taken her medication and she was having a seizure. She imagined her body convulsing. In here, in her dream, in her mind, it was peaceful, as she lay next to the cold, wrinkled body belonging to the gnarled hand, in the rather uncomfortable confines of a Ford trunk. She focused on the body, its cold flesh against her warm, supple skin. She was hesitant to move, but instead, her mind rapidly transcribed sensory information as the body itself moved... and shifted.. itself on top of her.

It's fingers twirled themselves through her long dark hair like Mexican birdspiders and she repressed a shudder. The being was wrapped around her, it's sharp pelvic bones jutting into her back, it's ribcage gnawing into her back as it squirmed and writhed, pressing her head further into the spare tire.

At once, Jacinder felt her body go lifeless, as if into a hibernation mode. While her body had been sucked into the trunk, her self, the real Jacinder, was being sucked into the being. She submissively co-operated, as there was nothing she could do to prevent this strange and fluid voyage. She entered the body of the cold, bony being, and saw through it's eyes the hands in her body's hair.

Jacinder felt the once ice-cold body she now inhabited warm up. Her old body was still lying there, and she reveled in how soft its skin felt against her weathered flesh. How perfectly rounded and supple it's buttocks were under her sword-like hipbones. Immediately, she allowed one crab-apple tree hand to unwind itself from her former body's hair, and tear rapidly and greedily at her yellow and gold ornamental sari, and underlying panties.

While in her mind she was a woman and had always been a very feminine one at that, she climatized very well in what was now obviously a very male body. Her protruding, dry lips and large teeth bit at, and sucked the tender nape of her former sleeping body's neck, and one hand parted the warm flesh between her legs. Without a second thought, Jacinder's mind commanded the strange body to thrust into her body, like a legless beggar takes to a plate of free rotis with chicken and fresh yogurt.

The Ford shook with the strange body's pent up power, and for a second, Jacinder feared alerting her mother and the driver of her whereabouts. That thought left her head so quickly, however, she doubted it ever existed. She was filled with a raw, animal lust she had never known, and which nobody at boarding school had ever informed her existed. The pleasure she derived from being inside her own body filled her loins with tingling and made them of a substance that felt lighter than helium. Growing up the baby of her family, she had always been called beautiful, but it was not until now that she fully realized what that had meant. 45....78....120 times, her body pounded into her body.... each time harder than the last.

Finally, pleasure consumed her, her mouth opened, and she released a cry, reminicient of a racoon with its arm clamped in a trap or a female alley cat, enraged after mating. The cry shook her, devoured, her, rattled on in its cacophony for what seemed like an hour, and out of her open mouth shot a long, golden chain with a pendant on the end. Jacinder reached out to grab the chain, and as she did, the female body under her moaned. The chain looked familiar though, and she ignored the waking body to stare at the chain clasped in her claws, her eyes nearly adjusted to the dark. So hazy, so fuzzy... so out of focus. She blinked hard in a vain attempt to clear away the cataracts in her old bestial eyes…

And suddenly, the chain popped into focus. She looked up, and found she was seated on seat 2-A, row 13, on a Bowing 727, heading to Vancouver International Airport. She looked down again at her nimble, French manicured hands, and wondered how long her eyes had been fixed on the pendant clasped between her tapered fingers. Jacinder shook her head numbly, ordered a glass of cold water, and leaned over her sleeping mother’s arm to plug her headphones into their shared armrest.

THE END.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

The boy rode on the donkey and the old man
walked. As they went along,
some people remarked, "It was a shame the old
man was
walking and the boy was riding." The man and boy
thought maybe the
critics were right,
so they changed positions.
Later, they passed some people that remarked,
"What a shame, he makes
that little boy walk, " They decided they both
would walk!
Soon they passed some more people who thought
they were stupid to walk
when they had
a decent donkey to ride. So the both rode the
donkey! Now they passed
some people that shamed them saying how awful it
was to put such a load
on a poor donkey. The boy and man said they were
probably right, so they
decided to
carry the donkey. As they crossed a bridge, they
lost their grip on the
animal and it fell into the river and drowned.
Management Lesson:
If you try to please everyone, you will
eventually lose your ass.

Future.

During my monthly review, my supe asked how i'd like to advance in the company. Just a routine probing question to test for dedication to the company I imagine, as I'm not advancing faster than others or anything.

I mumbled some stuff about teaching people one-on-one and demonstrating things for classes. She asked me what I want to do in general now that I'm done school and I muttered something about buying a car.

What I really want to do is can peaches, learn to knit and sew my own clothes. Also paint, write, photograph and create. Learn to skateboard, ride a motorcycle, and surf. Camp more often. Learn about horticulture and gardening. Start a home business.

None of things were too corporate-world-oriented so I didn't say them in the presense of my supe.

tues night (friday night)

Coworker JB, and I went downtown last night and did nothing. I had a white hot (lukewarm) chocolate and jolly rancher martini. In my race to get the whipped cream at the bottom of the former, I ended up throwing hot chocolate in my face as we paced down Granville for the 71st time looking for something to do.

The old east indian parking garage guy came charging out of his booth like an enraged armageddon genie bottled in New Delhi in 1408. I laughed so hard I started crying as he yelled at us and I looked out the passenger window so he wouldn't see but it's hard for laughs to come out when your neck is twisted and I'm sure he saw me howling anyway.




Sunday, October 17, 2004

...blender

Lots of people on my blog list had interesting updates today! Fuzzyland and Jaredism and Reen and Bumblefly and Geekgirl all had interesting posts. My turn to think of something to write about...

Last night I ran straight from work to view a place for rent near Trout Lake. 60 people had called the guy but persistance paid off and I was the first to see it. I took it on the spot and the landlord, a 40-something year old artist-photographer, and I, talked for a good hour about art and travelling and his need for space. It was a nice sort of intuitive thing. He said I'd be a perfect fit there and seemed as delighted as I was. He spends most of his time in the Okanagon and will be building a studio there. The house is a 1920's heritage home that he spent 18 years slowly remodelling. The interior, formerly dark brown, is now bright white, minimalist, yet funky. I will be sharing the house with two girls mainly, whom I haven't met.. but I am pretty sure I will get along fine with them. The one who lives on my level is a former hotel manager going back to school, apparently.

I came home and C. asked me to come to Cuppa Joe to see his friend play the violin. I hadn't had dinner. Suddenly R. messaged me saying:

"oh btw... did u look in the bag you threw out my blender in? I think you may not have removed my cartons of almond milk. They are missing "

Backtrack a few days ago at R's place. I had come over unnanounced so he had taken off to workout and left me some veggies to chop for dinner. I chopped them but shattered his blender. I cleaned up the glass and put them in a small bag on the ground that looked like garbage. I had also opened a .rtf file with my name on it in his documents to see what conversation of ours he'd saved.. it was just a boring one about rape I knew he'd saved. Then I opened the one below it, and above it. The one below was another boring chat. The one above answered the question I've always wanted to know about why he suddenly lost interest in me after we started dating. I already suspected this was the case and he had hinted at it, but this just laid it out on concrete. He has only been smitten by one girl in his life. She won't have him, and he compares all girls to her. Nobody measures up. Ironically and to my astonishment I had actually cried about that a week earlier. Not in a 'he doesn't like me ..waa' way. But because it is so frustrating to see him want someone so badly, to know he actually cried about her and to know he will never get her. To see so many 'love chains' where person A is infatuated with person B but person B has no interest in anyone but person C.. and so on. Anyway, I was feeling doubly guilty for snooping and breaking his blender.. and then he messaged me to say I also trashed his special almond milk which he had bought because he suspects he's allergic to soy and cow's milk. I'm so terrible.

So I asked C. last minute to drive me to Capers to get R. almond milk replacements. I wished to right at least one wrong and he wanted it right then, so I thought it'd be a good idea to show up at his door with a surprise milk drop-off. This took 1 hour as traffic was packed on Robson. I could run faster than the car was driving so I jumped out of the car as C accelerated, bruising my hip, and sprinted from Burrard down to Denman. The milk was delivered and we raced off late to the violin gig. Now I owed C bigtime for missing his crush's (who doesn't return said feelings...see above) birthday gig. "You can make up the punishment for me" I said.

So he forced me to stay out all night clubbing and made me drink copious amounts of Jager. No ice allowed. At 3:30 am he drove tauntingly past my house in east van... (I had thought he was going to drop me off there) and then CONTINUED THE FUCK TO TSAWASSEN!! Just to play around. I had to wake up for work in 3 hours and I was going to Tsawassen. I slept there for an hour and then he drove me back to Vancouver, which he later admitted was kind of pointless. I was kind of annoyed but I couldn't compain because I did owe him.

Two Tylenols helped me get to work but I fell on my ass walking there and skinned my palms. I still owe R. sushi for the blender I broke (his suggestion, as he wants to upgrade his former antique to a $100 state of the art one). I think my debts to R and C are pretty much repaid now. How do I always dig myself into such holes??!!


Friday, October 08, 2004

shi, b.a.

I just made an offer on my roomie's furniture and appliances. He DID say obo on most of the stuff.. and that it had to go.. but I wonder if I was being too cheap ... LOL.. he's 'thinking about it.' I can't wait to hear a resounding YES! I just knocked on wood.

I got him $25 gift certificate and a nice card to thank him for letting me use his stuff the past few months before this. I havaen't given it to him yet.. probably on Nov 1st.. but it's nary a drop in the bucket, he's so well off.

He actually wrote TV-$15 in his list of things. I asked him if it was a typo and he said why.. you want to pay more? Or less? I said.. umm that sounds a bit cheap for your TV... (It's probably worth like a couple hundred dollars.. its a GE and a few years old). So he was like 'yeah I was just making up numbers.' How's $50?

My mom was like...you're not supposed to say that!! Say $15 is fine! Hehe.

He's a nice guy but he has absolutely no sense of humor.

I gradumacated today.. it was.. meh. Actually it was quite bad. But having my parents there made it 100% delightful. They sat right behind me during convocation. And while other parents brought their kids flowers.. my mom brought me a coffee in the middle of the ceremony because it was freezing! And she left the flowers at home (peach roses) so they wouldn't get bruised. How thoughtful! Their grad gift to me was a promise of a digicam. This is from parents who usually give their children Bibles and bags of white rabbit candies at christmas.

My parents NEVER get us expensive electronic stuff so I'm doubly surprised, bemused and excited. My mom also made a full thanksgiving dinner today since I don't get Monday off. And packed a big cooler of turkey and other food for me to take back. My dad showed me his mom's grad pics, and other ancestral black and whites. And my mom took me to get professional grad photos (we found a place in Surrey that's half the price of the ones offered at SFU). Wow I feel spoiled today!! I thanked them a lot for everything but probably not nearly enough.

I think I am going to hire rental guide to find me a place by Nov 1st. I have very picky requirements and searching had made me depressed over the past two days.

Saturday, October 02, 2004

fgd

There's this guy at work who collects toys. TONS of toys. He talks like a raver. He spins breaks. I was surprised he has a 4 month old son.

N came and left today. He started moving his dvd's. All his furniture and TV, microwave, I can buy if I want. I have my eye on them. I put the couch cover in the dryer though and the stuffing got balled up. How do you fix this?

I'm so tired. I walked a lot today, house hunting. I found my dream place to live. I WANT IT NOW. I circled the building 3x in hopes that someone who lived there could tell me how I can rent a place there. Finally someone came but she didn't know. I may go stalk it again tomorrow. I am so ready to ditch this 2nd rate place in favor of something more aesthetically pleasing. 29 days to go.

Today was the best day in terms of cph and customer satisfaction. I think ass was kicked. My left index joint hurt a lot during the morning. Stay together, hands, so that your owner can get some dough and pay off her debts!

Man.. I feel so out of touch with the world. No interaction with community or news.. Just come home, sleep, work, repeat.. this must change.

Friday, October 01, 2004

Sixtyten

None of you bloggees update enough! Ahawhweee! More reading I say! I need my daily updates! *Peers into your lives*

So I just gave my notice to my landlady tonight. Good riddance! I won't miss the spiders, crazy biotch upstairs, trashy back alley, flooding back entrance, and greasy Chinese food smell. When N takes all his nice Ikea furniture with him, there won't be any point of staying here, except the new carpets. And who wants to stay for that.

Work went a bit faster today. I hit some really good tunes today that R. gave me. By Boards of Canada and The Flaming Lips. I had my one-on-one with the supervisor and I was as flippant as I get. I think I'm doing okay but all the recent turnover and such is making me value the job less and less. The money makes me value it more and not totally slack off. Although I do manage to get quite a bit of chatting done on msn with my co-workers (6).

J. left me a stupid message in response to my email. Of course I am not replying, and what he said makes me want to reply even less if that's possible. He says something along the lines of, 'There ARE other options, Shi. You can choose not to know the truth if you want. And you know, I was thinking, YOU could have called me too. You know.. using a phone, like normal people do." Stupid condescending fucktarded asspoodle!

Asspoodle.
Asspoodle!

Haha!

Now, I want to talk about a song called Aquarius by Boards of Canada, which captivated me today. The first thing you hear is sort of an ambient lounge track. Then kiddies saying 'Yeah, that's right!' And a grover-like voice says ORANGE! A lady teacher voice says ORANGE and the kiddies go 'Yeah that's right' and giggle.

Water swishes. Lady teacher says ORANGE. Grover says ORANGE. Kiddies go 'Yeahhh that's right.' And repeat a few times. This is like birth to age 2, where everything is right or wrong.

Then suddenly preschool ends and cognitive, serious life begins..this is where everything is rational and prescriptive... lady teacher counts .. 1....2....3....4...5....6...7...8...9....10...11....12..... all the way to... 36....Grover interrupts with ORANGE a few times.. then the numbers go berzerk.

Midlife crisis.

12....34.......67........sixtyten.....24........72.....

Stuff gets fucked up! Oh no. Were grover and Ms. Teacher lying? Naw. They've taken the rational consecutive knowledge and applied it to something abstract. Bits of Grover and splashing water peek through the chaos. 'Yeah, that's right,' the kids say wisely, and laugh.

...yeah, go listen to this song! it's neat. PS. The above is my own interpretation. Perhaps its not meant to mean anything. But I think it was sort of meant to give an impression similar to above.