omgomg work was so fun today. everyone in cheery mood. we were fed smoothies, cake and icecream, and we got to choose where we sat; i sat next to nice ppl who were very fun to make fun of ;)

and we all bounced positive friday energy off each other. AND i made my metrics! almost 6 chats per hour average!

:D

AND it was payday.

now off to see farenheit 9-11 or rent some dvds from videomatica :D

i made a new curriculum vitae for davis

but i'm gonna call him loreal from now on as a codename
anyway...


biajjiioou- says:
otherwise he's just a bit too weird for most ppl i think
biajjiioou- says:
in life accomplishments and interests i mean
biajjiioou- says:
personality-wise he comes across as fairly normal
David says:
fighting not to ask what you mean by weird exactly
David says:
and losing
biajjiioou- says:
hahahah
biajjiioou- says:
he has a phd in curriculum and philosophy of education, two masters (in medical education and something else), is a karate sensei, does sea kayaking, was gay for a certain amount of time in his life and had a few boyfriends, performs as a drag queen part time, was a dean and professor for a good chunk of his life but is now anti-academia and wants to pursue makeup artistry full-time
David says:
a fleet of kittys have caught my tongue
biajjiioou- says:
still comes across as very gay and openly embraces the lifestyle, very interested in gender related issues (but mainly attracted to women more now, obviously..), moved out at age 15, was in a gang, was a counselor using practical philosophy, herbalist practices and massage, is currently doing resarch at SFU building simuplated computer-animated people, taking classes at blanche mcdonald..is half jewish
David says:
wow

weird. somehow i didn't go longboarding or to the girls' sleepover, or to the lantern festival as planned. i didn't even go to kits beach with davis. instead, spent the last 30 hours at davis's place, smoking weed, eating junk food, consulting kevin aucoin makeup books, and doing each others' makeup. i spent a good hour doing a rad haute couture look on him. pics later.

Mmm what a great weekend its shaping up to be! I think I will report now rather than when its over. Gives me more to anticipate. Weekends are much more valuable now that weekdays are gone.

Anyway went back to the hometown tonight to see my favorite kid Alan, his mom (visiting from Taiwan), and another family friend (Japanese), along with my parents. We talked about murders, rape, cannibalism, dishonest Chinapeople, et al. My favorite kid is so fokking smart!!! He is the third top violinist in Taiwan in his agegroup, and made the final cut for the NASA space program in Alabama. I am so proud of him. He wants to become a pediatrician like his dad and I'm pretty certain he will.

I think I may cancel out on Davis tomorrow and just chill by myself at the beach in the daytime. I want downtime and tantime and to see Davis would be prolonging the inevitable speech. I already told him I don't want anything longterm and he replied with 'okay thats great, we can take it slow' or something. Wasn't fazed in the least. So my thought was totally lost upon him. Then a small girls sleepover tomorrow night, and most funnestly, longboarding on Sunday with H. I borrowed my bro's new longboard, can't wait to try it out.

I think it's gonna be a wonderful weekend! :)

Viv found me this really nice tube top from Gap. She is my new approved fashion consultant. She made me try it on a month ago, when it was $40; now it was on sale for $12. It's pink, with yellow and purple stripes. Retro.

Also got a nice white strapless dress from Jacobs. I think I buy most of my clothes there!

Class was so boring today. I sat beside a really loud and outgoing girl who it just so happens used to date H's friend A. She spins breakbeats too. On the other side was a guy that my classmate Kat and I agree is sort of a snob. She dislikes him more than me, but I still don't have anything in common with him so we barely exchanged a word.

Yesterday was much more fun sitting next to Kat and Jay. We poked fun at each other like mad. Jay has me stereotyped as an anal perfectionist who likes to advise other people to take daring and stupid risks. They call me the devil because I give advice that makes computers malfunction. My extension number ends in 666.

Little cliques are starting to form. But people still mix it up and associate with each other. Kat and I are definitely one mini-clique. I lost her at lunch today though and ended up eating with the 'sociable asian and filipino' clique, which includes a chronic (daily) gambler and the drum n bass girl. We talked about stock options and mortgages.

This weekend I'm going home for a bbq Friday night. I really don't want to see my parents and don't want to tell them I have a job. I'm going because my favorite kid of all-time, Alan, is back from Taiwan for a week. I tutored him when he was in kindergarten. He must be grade 3 or 4 now.

Saturday I might hang with Davis. I have been neglecting the 'don't want to settle' speech. Sunday longboarding with H. Cannot wait! It would be so like him to cancel. He better not. If he does, I'll just go longboarding myself!

Time to get my 6 hours sleep.

 

 

what a busy weekend. fri nite date, then go in to work at lounge. sat morning go to beach, talk to stranger for 3 hours, date w/ davis. this morning, run to metro, get $20 back for on sale top, hiked all day near wreck beach with friend from work. she brought me over and i met her bf and bf's very cute daughter. now davis is coming over for an hour or so, then its to sleep at 12 (i hope) and up at six tomorrow.
 
re: wreck beach.. it was my first time going, and man were there a lot of naked ppl. naked families too. every 5 min a naked guy would pass us in the woods. we saw this one guy in the woods on his knees and elbows, bum up in the air, balls hanging down waving in the wind. i wanted to toss a pinecone at his hiney.
 
 

...

So tonight's date just ended. It's 5:23. It was a roaring success as well! At first I was a bit put off by Davis's geekiness and tendency to suddenly burst into song (Broadway or Beatles). Then I warmed up to his eccentricities. We drove up Seymour to see the sunset, but on a hill his engine started smelling bad. I thought we should cancel Seymour because it might die up there, and sure enough his engine died. For a few minutes. Then it came back to life and we coasted down... to Horseshoe bay where walked around the back streets and smoked a joint. Then we went to a nice restaurant overlooking the bay and ate seafood appies. Oh did I mention he brought flowers and a Norman Rockwell calendar?
 
Then we sat on a bench by the water talking till two-ish. It got cold. He kissed me. He dropped me off, and we snuggled a bit.. (okay, for an hour or two), and he just 'tucked me in' and drove off... and I pretended to go to sleep but of course I have to pop up to blog. So yeah. He's old, but we agreed not to exchange ages for now. He doesn't know mine, I don't know his. He's had a really weird but extremely interesting life. Is doing research in Education faculty at SFU building simulated computer-animated people. Does drag-queen performances on the side. Has a black belt two stripes in karate. Kayaks and camps in remote areas. Lived in the small town I lived in, in Ontario for two years. Taught philosophy classes and counselled people using practical philosophy. Was an herbalist and combined this with massage. Moved out at age 15. Was in a gang sometime after and lived on the streets.
 
We had a good discussion about people in BC compared to back east. It went deeper than the one last night. Last night's date was the epitomy of a good date conversation-wise. We talked about everything and had a lot of common views. But we talked so much that silence was odd. Tonight's date, while convo wasn't as mentally stimulating.. the pace of convo was better, and we had a great physical connection as well. He seems to be a hopeless romantic and says exactly what he's feeling. This scares me a bit. He talked about making future plans a lot throughout the night. I nodded but didn't make any promises. I'm hesitant. This guy knows what he wants and goes for it. No casual dating, like last night. Right now we are slated to either do dinner again tomorrow night, or rent movies and snuggle next Sat.

last nights date was so fun.
sat on a bench at kits beach and talked, went to urban well and talked some more. the kind of talking where neither stop for a breath and you're clipping each other's sentences trying to get a word in. we got so animated, with wild gesticulations drawing mild attention. i thought he was quiet when i first met him. holy cow, he talks more than any girl i know.
 
we talked about work, animals, PR spins and chemical companies, mnc's, safeway, travelling, more travelling, past jobs, university, fraternities, van vs. back east, music et al.
 
i found it interesting that while i'm graduating from a very left wing faculty and am now getting interested in business and losing my strong left-wing stance that was fostered by Communications, he graduated with a degree in Commerce and works in sales at an older chemical company with some bad history. Now that he's seen how terribly un-environmentally friendly Canadian companies are, he decided to do a masters in environmental management! So basically, he's the businessperson-turning-hippie and I'm the hippie-with-softening-stance-toward-commerce.
 
ps. i'd have to say he's one of the most sane, happily accomplished, outgoing, pleasant-to-be-around guys i've had the pleasure to have a drink with.
 
now i clean room and go tan on beach before date #2 tonite! :D

...

I laughed dryly when I saw this a moment ago.
I could only gather enough nerve to log into my online banking because my tax refund + election $ cheques both came in today. Oh how I will miss being a starving student............ NOT.
 

Account Balances -

16 July 2004 

  
Chequing/Savings
USD
CAD  

Savings: 
3.73  

Total:
 
3.73 


Credit Cards
USD
CAD   
  
VISA
 
66.25  
 
Total:
 
66.25 

...

My fashion show pics are freshly uploaded, take a peek here. Saturday's date = the makeup guru responsible for that black tar on our faces. ;)

...

I've been getting 5 hrs sleep every night this week. Funny. I usually need about 8 or 9. I'm pretty sure it has to do with feeling much more positive about life and having something to DO each day. Besides stay at home and mope about being jobless.

I can't stress how much I like everyone in my training class. Usually, classes form cliques, and there are only a few I end up talking to long term. But in this class, I like talking to each and every person. There's about 20 of us, all really different. But I think they do a good job of filtering people when they hire, because, well, these are just the type of people I want to know. Smart, business savvy, driven, outdoorsy, humble, cool hobbies, laid back..

It's very easy to slip and be let go for seemingly trivial matters, but so far I've aced both quizzes and haven't missed the timing system. (And haven't pissed anyone off majorly). The timing system is an anal bitch and a half. There are twelve 30-second windows throughout the day you have to sign in or out on a big-brotheresque program. Sneeze and u miss the 30 seconds and its a strike against u and ur closer to being let go.

Other than that, I'm loving the casual dresscode, free drinks, bagel day was today, our entertaining and pleasant-to-listen-to trainer, and the cool people. I'm already doing the Grouse Grind on Sunday with a girl I sat beside two days in a row. I asked for her msn so I could have a work contact at home, and she said she didn't use IM anymore, but that I should come do the Grind. I said no at first to appear aloof and un-needy (a reflex response created as a defense mechanism during teen years) but half an hour later sucked in my pride and said yes.

I neglected to mention Saturday's date is about 35-40 years old, an ex-gay man who I swore was still gay when I first met him, can strut down a runway better than me, and was married (to a female). He also has a Phd and two masters, and was a prof (at Ryerson I think?). That is just the tip of the iceberg. I think he's putting more hope and TLC into this date than I am. We agreed to do it after I changed my name to "I like guys.....from a distance" on msn and we started discussing that. "Water water everywhere and nary a drop to drink," he wrote, of all the girls he does makeup on, but whom he can't ask out due to business professionalism. So being a devil's advocate I guess, I said "Why can't you, why can't you!" and I guess he took that as an opportunity request my presense on Sat.

He has already said he is bringing flowers, his treat at a seafood restaurant, then smoke weed and stargaze on a mountain. LOL. He also says he knows we will have a blast, then I will run away and he will be sad. :S Unfortunately he's probably right. I just hope we can bottle it into a nice one-time event without anyone wanting more. Or, if, God forbid, someone wants more, I hope the other will too. I don't want either party dissapointed. That's why I 'don't date.'

so at the fashion show, the guy i was seeing met my fuckbuddy, and i picked up a date for friday. and now i have a date with the guy who did our makeup, on sat. holy crap. this is insane. i may have a permagrin the rest of this week. i have never spread myself so thin before / had more than one date per weekend!

Sometimes my parents are funny!

-------------------------------------

We have blended together into a nameless blob.

-----Original Message-----
From: J S [mailto:shi@hotmail.com]
Sent: Monday, July 12, 2004 8:04 PM
To: parents@dccnet.com
Subject: RE: Tax refund


haha

who is this anyway?

dad?

it sounds like mom

fashion show was fun

stupid blogger deleted my post

synopsis: everything u'd imagine a fashion show to be. all the other designers recycled the same john casablanca models. but s. used us five amateurs and amateur makeup and hair dude, and frankly I think we owned the place. while everyone else had barely-there makeup, we had a vampish trailer-trash chic look. while everyone else floated down the runway, we strutted and glared.

rahh.

may post pics soon.

funny tidbit: H met R. (aka the guy i'm seeing met my fuckbuddy. H knows who R is but R doesn't know who H is..)

other funny tidbit: S was the only one who used a male model. convo we had while waiting in dressing room:

me: lucky you, as the only guy here u get to check out all the half naked chicks u want
him: yeah after a while its all the same though.. an ass here, an ass there..
me: (spying fully naked girl to my left) NINE O'CLOCK!!!! NINE O'CLOCK!!! LOOOOK!)
him: *lifts hand shielding eyes to peek out for a sec* .... i know i saw that.. i'm trying not to look too perverted

Today R got back from back east and told me all about how his #1 crush and best friend, whom he had been visiting there, got mad at him and took off a day early. I remember the chick because he's always talked about her, and her nice boobs, and how she's going to graduate school for microbiology or something smartish and how he actually cried b/c he wanted her but she was with a psycho boyfriend. He said spending several days in a row with her revealed her true colours. Must have been disappointing.

Went to orientation for new job. Came back elated. Talked to some friends about it. Less elated now. Apparently 'everyone and their donkey' works there, and I will 'soon realize its a house of cyborgs and the pay isn't all that great.' Oh well the rose coloured glasses are still fairly on, and I've been tinkering with my calculator imagining what the money will buy. x_x

Semi-reluctantly met H downtown. Sat and talked at Sunset Park beach, purposely not looking at him. Also did not touch him. Though he touched me a lot. Told him I was miffed about the $100 tab of the trip, when he said it would be under $20. I still suspect he took me to help cut costs. He's about as broke as me. We had to sit near the parking lot and not go to the water, because he didn't want to pay for parking. I feel smugly satisfied for acting like a lump of mud.

Tomorrow is the fashion show. A few other aquaintances will be there, so thats nice. Makeup application starts at 12 pm and the show is at 8. She told me that last night; originally I thought I had to be at the show around 8. Thank goodness my orientation was today and I don't have to work tomorrow!! It seems like all these people in the nightlife/fashion/promoting industries never plan ahead or give notice. I like spontaneity but there are good and bad forms of it.

...

My brother has the continuation of the the recent mom events here. I was too lazy to type out the updates. But basically she hit his gf's car and is making her pay for it. Oh but Jar, don't hate women, Christians and family b/c of mom. She could easily have been a man, pagan and childless and still exhibited the same traits. So hate the person, not the demographics. In fact don't even hate the person, hate the traits she exhibits and feel pity for the person inside her who doesn't want to be that way, but is a victim of her other, more psychotic side.

I got a job. Its pretty kickass! Thanks Colene for the heads up re: this particular job. :) You rock! Someday I'll have to actually meet you.

Been busy lately, lots of stuff happening. I still hate boys. I better still remember that tomorrow from 2 to 6 pm-ish.

Dave is having a blast in Japan. No doubt, its like living inside a videogame for him. Hot chicks everywhere, he declares.

Besides Dave, where'd everyone go? Nobody seems to blog much anymore and nobody seems to come this way. I feel lonely over here in my little chunk of cyberspace :P Holla.

. . .

Saturday, July 03, 2004
Bear in mind i do not live at home and had only briefly heard from my bro another fight had occured. she is so worried i'll side with my brother, she had to get her defense thesis out to me asap, though she hasnt even talked to me in a few weeks! Here is the end of the crazy-assed 5 kb email she sent out of the blue yesterday:

When children come to the stage of defying the parents, it is a sign that
they should move on on their own. It is not that I kicked any of you out.
Dad and I were bending forward and backward trying to keep you guys as long
as we could at home so that you can finish your education. Isn’t it much
easier for us if you move out as soon as you finish high school?

When I asked you to chip in $350 for room and board because I assumed that
with the help of your student loan [ nice try, but i applied for the student loan AFTER u gave me the ultimatum to move out.]

and tutoring money, it is not a whole lot
to ask you to help out the family when Dad’s EI was drying up. Family is
made to help each other when it is needed. And it is good for you to take
some responsibility of yourself in your last year of university. [ she keeps saying she had planned for a long time that i would support myself in the last year of university. in reality, she decided i would move out the night of the incident, and pretend it was her wise plan all along. assuming i would be living there in the last year of university, i was in no way financially prepared to move out. i had about $75 to my name. They did not provide any of the $2000 the goverment budgeted as 'parental contribution.' As such, after living like a bum for the past year, not buying SHAMPOO because I wanted to be sure I could make rent, holding a few sketchy p/t jobs that didnt pay me, and studying fulltime, I am now left with a VISA bill bigger than my bank account as I desperately jobhunt.]

Howbeit, when you chose your freedom more important, I had not opposed you, we were
glad to help you on your way [ yeah, helping me by glaring at me from across the room as I asked dad for advice on renting a basement suite during those two weeks of silent treatment? Leaving the nest is supposed to be a happy time and you made it one of my worst memories ever].

It is perfectly ok for children to move out on their own in peaceful terms.
It is part of growing up, as long as they understand what parents have done
for them instead of viewing parents trying to pick fights and restricting
their freedom. [ what about the right to friends and healthy relationships? i won't even mention the lengths she went to cut off some of our FRIENDS because she hated them. my best friend in highschool, minh, and my brother's good friend jeff.. she hated. and made it known. and the friendships suffocated because of it.]

I would rather that whatever you guys do did not border me.
But it pretty well have to be that I become a vegetable or a being without a
conscience. [ so our having friends, bf's and gf's bothers you and makes you feel like a vegetable?]

In that case why would I bother to live? [ this part freaks me out a bit; she can be so incredibly psychotic]

In all our hope, we wish both of you will not fall into the snare of the evil one who wears the mask of deception in the body of beautiful beings. [ right. kids, this is what happens when you mix your lithium prescription with your stash of special k.]

We would give up our lives for the two of you if we have to so that you may walk on the right path and experience a wonderful life.

On Sat June 26th

If u scroll down a bit, u'll see I dreamt about my mom maiming my brother's gf and my bf. :|

That is not far from the truth, and was a bit of a premonition. She becomes a horrible monster at certain times, often when it involves any significant other belonging to her children.

For someone who has a very unhealthy relationship with her husband, she is hardly the one who should be meddling in our relationships.

She has extremely strong abstinence views. I became aware of this in grade 6, when she pulled me out of sex-ed class, boycotted the whole thing, and invited all my female classmates over for her OWN version of the class. In the second half of grade six she slammed the door in the face of the first boy who asked me out. In grade 10 I brought my first official bf home and she couldn't have made it a more uncomfortable experience. She sat in the next room and eavesdropped and then yelled at me for letting him in my room. My brother's last gf, a very sweet girl, was scared of her. Oh and I can't forget the time my brother wanted to take her camping, and my mom called HER MOTHER to try and stop it. A mother calling her 19 year old son's girlfriend's parents because to stop a 'morally wrong' camping trip. (Her parents didn't see a problem)

She kicked me out in Sept. due to the same agenda. My brother came back five minutes past curfew from his gf's place, I let him in, she had a fit, told me I had to leave (after throwing a few punches, an hour or so of verbal abuse military-style, and a week or two of silent treatment).

Now she is kicking my brother out for the same thing. The stick is so far up her ass though, that she can't even vocally state 'Do not have sex before marriage.' Instead, she beats around the bush, erecting new 'rules' here and there to try and control the situation. When my brother found some loopholes, she got pissed. An insult to her attempts.

My mom is like the lone Marxist-Leninist candidate who got no votes at my polling station, staunchly set foot amidst a sea of 100 NDP-marked ballots. She is expecting my brother and I to adopt moral standards that are pretty much extinct in our society. Whether or not her views are right is not an issue. Her own personal convictions should come second to the priority of keeping our family together.

She is tearing our family apart based on some petty personal convictions. I can forgive her, but I will never forget the many ways she has torn my family apart and pitted us against each other. I can't tell her exactly what I think now, because I still depend on them a bit even though I've moved out. When I'm old, and she's old, I plan to drift away and not contact her much.

applied to retail

today. finally. yes, retail.

i have gotten a university degree so that i can apply to retail for the first time in my life.

i generally walked around the store and eavesdropped a bit to see if the staff were nice, before applying.

here's the synopsis:

Body Shop: snobby azns, not hiring
plenty: seemed like little ditzy materialistic types, didn't apply (too bad, like their stuff)
Jacob Annex: generally liked their staff, not hiring till Oct
Jacob: same as above
Butterflies: nice staff! crappy merchandise. possibly hiring.
Stoneridge: HIGH ENERGY STAFF with bleach blonde spiked up hair. I don't think she liked me much, she kind of gave me a little interview on the spot and she's a bit of a type-A personality, i'm more type B. They're hiring but.. nah
RW&Co: hiring longerm, for about 32 hrs/week. That is good. Staff seem very down-to-business. I like their merchandise.
Laura: She almost hired me on the spot. But was skeptical about me not staying long because I'm overqualified with my degree. I was honest about maybe not being able to commit and that sealed the no-go deal. It was more of a merchandising/computer position which sounded more interesting than sales. Maybe I'll call her back if worst comes to worst.
Pegabo: The best catch so far. I liked both of the staff members AND the manager, a little french dude. Their male staff seemed a bit dumb, which makes me think its not a hard position, and the female was Soooo nice. Had me wait for the manager to come and introduced me to him. So if any of you damned retail places call me back, I hope its you, Pegabo! PS. I want shoe discounts there, they have nice stuff! :)

Went to Greek Festival & Richmond Night Market yesterday. Had yummy deepfried honey fritter ball things at the former.

...

i'm turning a lesbian. no, really.

no more boys. not this year.

NO MORE BOYS.

they are vile, often wicked creatures. i don't know how i ever thought i liked them more than girls.

sera and i went to the beach today and she offered to lend me a brand new dress she got from korea and hasn't even worn yet, just b/c she thought it would look good on me. what a sweetheart.

no boy that i've come across would be as comparatively selfless. i've been screwed over again, is it obvious? but i'm not gonna tell, because I knew I had it coming to me. and it makes me look like a fool. boys make me forget all common sense and caution.

anyway, back to the topic of girls. Sigh. Nice, safe girls. it looks like sera will be my new beach buddy until i find a job. she also prefers to hang out with only girls; its very refreshing.

Surfing in Tofino

I slept next to a graveyard
Where a 30 year old mother died
Her daughter left a flattened wine bottle
"Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I love you. You rock."
Said the sparkly blue nailpolish on it.
I picked it up to read
And H freaked a little

On the ferry there,
I awoke in the carport
Peered out the window
To see the moon on the inky black waves
Lapping
We were moving fast.

Exploring Long Beach alone
I found a jelly disk
Large crabs
Large seaweed
Everything is bigger here
Except for the sand, which is finer

The mist swirls around love rock
As if flirting with the rip tide below
So wispy and misty and sunny at once
Its like a painting, said he
And I nod

I learned a lot about people in two days
Namely myself
Painful
Immobilizing fog
I can't acquiesce
I must actively choose

Things don't bother me as much
Or if they do, I get over them faster
A sign of maturity I hope

Westfalias, weed, long grass and sun
Sitting on the roof with a hard lemonade
Tomorrow, jobhunting and worrying about money
Today, dizzy, yet content